A late (for me) recording session leads nowhere, fast. I talk about The Four Seasons in Kona, Hawaii, being ignored by the people standing right next to me, and my daughter’s new friends: the super model and the actress.
Check out: Scott Sigler (coming soon to the show), Selma Blair, and The Hollywood Podcast. Brace yourself: I am a boring blow hard.
The song: “Screaming” by Restricted, from their album Moron. Thanks, Wyatt!
Thanks for listening!
This post formerly was mistitled “#74”
This is one of the best Pills ever. (Seriously)
Hilarious and true, and some of the best social commentary I’ve ever heard.
Are you serious about Selma Blair??? The closest I ever got to an A-lister was playing golf five holes ahead of John Travolta. (I live in central Floridy)
Nice episode, Dan.
It does seem to be somewhat of a class thing (no pun intended). Our son went to a elementary school on the “poor side of town” for the lack of a better term, and the parents were very open and engaging. As he moved up to middle school, located on the “right side of the tracks,” I got more of the feeling of being an outsider. Part of that could be attributed to the fact that most of the other adults were parent of kids who had gone to a school on the upper income side of town and, therefor, already knew each other. But there was also some intangible stand-offish politeness.
Perhaps it is simply a clash of cultures?
Great episode.
I think it is an LA thing. Here in Baltimore, I generally have to mentally add 20-25 minutes to my schedule for every errand, because that 20-25 minutes will be taken up with various chit chat, which is nice, but being an unreconstructed New Englander, I am kind of use to purely utilitairian exchanges with the rest of the species. It is just the way it is in the frozen North. You have to concerve your energy.
The thing is, it is truly difficult to be too stuck up in Baltimore. Cuz, it is Baltimore. If you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere. In Baltimore, they give it away. But, I will admit to feeling a tiny bit superior when I bother to wear a shirt in July.
Does that mean I should unload my cashmere, darling?
There are places on the East Coast that are exactly the same…. Its not an LA thing. The best way to combat it is talk to everyone… Shame them into interacting. You’ll find that you’ll get as good as you give. I’m frequently accused of talking to everyone… as if I’m running for some political office.
I really think you’ll be amazed when you make the first step.
I live in Silicon Valley which is a very different dynamic. I think most of the people are very down to Earth, above average intelligence and hard working… really, really hard working.
In our particular neighborhood If parents at my kids school are reluctant to say hi it is more that they are shy and embarrassed about their English as the majority of the parents come from China.
Dan:
The airport at Kona does seem very retro. It’s like a polynesian Denny’s built on a lava flow
Some of the non-communication comes from being a guy in a gal’s world–there’s not the easy bonding that goes on between the women.
And-since most of the men at the Four Seasons are alpha male types who golf, drink, and shout into the phone for their job, the gals may not know what to do with a guy who watches the kids and runs a wonderful podcast for a living.
But does some of this anxiety come from the fact that, because of Melissa’s job, you are, as a family, rising class-wise into the world of the fancy cars and nice hotel rooms?
best,
henry
Awesome show. In my corporate experience, I’ve just found that the whole frickin’ world is just a continuation of Junior High.
I recall that I used to sit with these 5 other people with whom I worked directly every day at lunch. I recall one of these days when we were all invited to go sit with this other department that we supported. I remember feeling all self-important that we got to go sit at this other table, and made the comment to one of my compatriots, “Hey, it’s like High School and we get to sit with the popular kids.”
“Yeah,” said my co-worker, “but we’re still doing their homework.”
Dan, I have a solution to your being ignored by people here in L.A. Just use your coincidental resemblance to your advantage and introduce yourself as “Dan Malkovich.” When they ask, “Are you –” “Yeah, he’s my cousin.” Works every time.
Great show Dan!
As a former waiter at the Four Seasons, I have another angle on your Selma experience. I hate to be the pesimist but the Four Seasons world is truly another world — a walled garden. The true test is how someone treats another person on the street and in the real world. The Four Seasons experience is hardly real. Because I’m such a fan of Selma Blair, I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt. Most people don’t believe this but the truth is that most famous people are friendly within the confines of a Four Season type world. It’s the rich but not famous people you have to look out for (like the people you have to interact with on a daily basis).
Your fabulously unfamous and unwealthy friend,
Tim
P.S. for you gossip hounds, a list of super friendly famous people within the confines of the Four Season World – Liam Neeson, Juliette Binoche, Halle Berry, Hugh Jackman, the cast of Blair Witch Project as they found themselves suddenly swept up in Blair Witch Mania, Marilu Henner (not too relevant but she was so positive and friendly), Rosario Dawson, Renne Zellwegger. It’s the producers and agents that are the complete aholes – – rich but not famous.
Dan:
I was wondering if you could ask Wyatt if you could post his song for download, I quite liked it, and would like to throw it on my iPod.
Hi Dan,
I enjoyed the show – especially the story about your daughter flirting with the famous people. Aren’t kids great? They believe that everyone is their equal and that everyone could be a friend. And the truth is – they are probably right! It’s a good lesson for all of us to take out to the world with us.
dan, ever think that maybe they just don’t like you?
i mean we can’t all love you right?
Clearly the only answer is: move back to NYC! You can be an actor in NYC, and your wife can do…. whatever she does.
Great show! This was the first one I’ve heard–after hearing the Hollywood Podcast this week, I wanted to listen (so, no–you didn’t come off poorly in that interview!)… I couldn’t believe I had been listening for 45 minutes when it was over… Looking foward to diving into the archives here…
The social structure isn’t limited to LA. I live in a small town in Southern Virginia. There’s a lot of old money from furniture and textiles, some new money from doctors and lawyers and the rest of us.
I’m a teacher and my husband is self-employed (like many couples in this area). We’re reasonably friendly folks but don’t grovel for acceptance. We have our circle of friends and we’re happy to know those men and women.
I think the biggest factor in superficial friendships is usefulness. When you have something that can help someone else then you’re treated much more kindly than when you only have your friendship to offer.
Everything you said is correct for the most part. Also, it is relevant outside of LA too. I live close to DC and Balt and people are just like that here. The thing about the parents not speaking is so true. It is high school all over again. I have found that people in the South are much friendlier though for the most part.
Dan only pretty nice, what is are you thinking? Bth some of your ealier podcasts on Itunes you can’t download.
Maybe the other women aren’t open-minded and since it’s not exactly ‘normal’ to have a dad dropping of the kids they think you’re kind of weird. That or what Colin said and they don’t like you for some reason or another.
JamesM, I agree. Dan, you don’t exactly project the “warm-n-fuzzy” kinda “sensitive-man” vibe that one expects of the usual, by-choice SAHD. I bet they pick up the bitterest thang and can’t reconcile it with your contextual role. From what I hear, LA isn’t the kind of place that suffers incongruity and persona complexity gladly, or easily. I fear that, once again, you are a prisoner of your geography, relegated to being dismissed and misunderstood by the banality of your location and the limited social mores of its society. Can you say, “Fairport?” ;~)
~ honeybee33 ~
This is the first episode I’ve listened to and I laughed myself sick. I could relate to the school thing completly.
Thanks so much for a great show!
Stephanie
cool picxxs
Hi, Dan! I’m for the first time on your blog page, but i’ve got interested with your stories! Keep up blogging!