#76: Brown Leather Chucks

Dan Klass

As usual, I’m in a bitter mood, after being shunned by the host of a birthday party I didn’t really want to go to in the first place. Also, I’m a little thrown: isn’t three years-old a little young to be attracting the guys? Seriously?

You are my friends and neighbors. Thank you for this outlet.

Brown Chuck Taylors, the official shoe of The Bitterest Pill. Buy them at Zappos, I guess. I got mine in Santa Monica, but I can’t remember the name of the place that carries them…

Victor Cajiao is from Typical Mac User

38 thoughts on “#76: Brown Leather Chucks”

  1. Great show Dan! Come To Cleveland, Ohio 🙂 also what about all boys schools and trying to get girls when you are in all boys school. hehe.

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  2. Dan, thanks for the mention during the show (3 mentions actually). It was really nice to meet you again at the Mac Gathering, and by the way, I believed you when I met you for the second time last weekend. Even if you had not remembered me (which I believed you did remember me) I would have appreciated you saying that you had. That’s what cool people who are not pretencions (A@# H@#%S ) would do.

    It was fun to hang, listen to your presentation, and be in the panel with you.

    Victor

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  4. Hey Dan,

    I remember when my daughter was in first grade, we took her skiing at the local mountain. A boy in her class called out her name in this excited, hopeful tone. “Hmm, who’s this?” I thought. “Keegan!!” , she called. The two skied to each other and smiled at each other with goofy grins and starry eyes. A moment of chitchat and then they went their separate ways. “And so it begins”, I said to myself. I too thought I had years before all THAT nonsense would begin. I was wrong.

    Don’t let the schmucks get to you. I’ll bet before the decade is over that incredibly rude man and his wife are divorced and he’s seeing his kid every other weekend. The tension wasn’t just because you were there. Those two were tense before you ever showed up.

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  5. I’m 15 years old, but HOMESCHOOLED, so I don’t have to worry about the boy/girl/relationships/dating thing until I’m in college. Isn’t that great? Livin’ it up while I can, baby!

    The Voice of Dan = The Voice of Truth
    Thank you for telling it how it is and for giving your common-sense wisdom on the state of society today (i.e., you’re absolutely right). I think part of the reason my parents began to homeschool me from the first grade is because they were sick and tired of trying to “interact” with the other parents, who’s social demeanor showed a remarkable resemblance to that of a very insensitive Buick.

    Fearless podcasting is the best kind!

    Keep it up!

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  6. Hi Dan,

    I’m from Austin, Texas. I know you were just joking, but incase you weren’t I’m letting you know that the vast majority of Austinites wear Chucks, Birkenstocks, and Docs but the favorite footwear in Austin are flip-flops. Come live in our town, we’ll acknowledge your existence! We’re a diverse group…home to liberals, conservatives, techies, artists, musicians, hipsters, hippies and rednecks. It’s unlike any other Texas town, or any town in the US for that matter. But the most important thing to know about Austin is that the people are…Wait for it….FRIENDLY. Come visit, you’d fit right in.

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  7. Texas, very nice people, but too hot. We are actually thinking about South Carolina, near Charlotte. Also a strong podcast and blog community there as well.

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  10. Whatcha got there is yer perfectly symmetrical feathered hairdo -various facsimiles of which appeared in yearbooks throughout the continent. But I have to say, that is one of the better ones I’ve seen. 😉

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  11. Wow Dan, I could never get my ‘do to feather so nicely! And that perfect part in the middle! I used to battle a cow lick and straight hair daily with my blow dryer and curling iron. My hair always won. Now I understand why you mourn your lost locks. You could have done ads for V05 with hair like that.

    By the way, if you think there are no women who can relate to losing hair, you are wrong. My hair dresser broke the news to me… I am a victim of female pattern baldness. The hair all along the edge of the front of my head is thin and only grows about a half inch long. Pulling my hair back is no longer an option and I do the female equivalent of a comb over. I can disguise it now, but man, I dread to think what its going to be like in twenty years or so.

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  12. Albuquerque is where you need to be. Warmer than Austin, not miserable like Phoenix. I mean, a couple weeks ago Travolta, H. Macy, and Martin Lawrence were shooting “Wild Hogs” across the street from my work. Richard Gere was shooting near our house about a month before. We’re the Hollywood of the desert. Plus I’d estimate a massively disproportionate amount of brunettes, and that’s just a free bonus.

    Keep up the bitter work!
    Greg & Lisa

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  13. Ooooh nice! Parted in the middle and evenly feathered on both sides. David Cassidy would be proud! I had the exact same hair in high school (well not the VERY same hair as it would have been awkward sharing) but we must have had the same stylist.

    My mother has our graduation photos on her wall and my own children can recognise all my brothers and sisters but when they get to my picture they say “WHO’S THAT?????”

    As for the daughter dilemma, I’ve been thinking of shopping for my little girl at “Chastity Belts-R-Us”. I’m afraid it only gets worse, just wait until the boys are able to get to your house on their own. I’ve already started to give the “What are your intentions towards my daughter” look to 7 year olds that arrive at my door.

    Great show Dan…Hey haven’t we met before?!? – Bruce (your neighbour in Nova Scotia)

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  15. Greg & Lisa are batty don’t go to Albuquerque! Laughing out Loud. There I spelled the whole thing out for you. However, a Bitter New Mexico momment might be nice. Anyway, great show and I won’t ask you to come back to NYC.

    ps: my whole bloody post is “batty” the first one didn’t all come out!? : (

    -Jason the Other Half

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  18. gawd, Dan, the more you talk about LA the more I’m glad I live in Boston. At least I know the standoffishness I face is just rooted in yankee bitterness and not infantile judgment and insecurity. We thought about moving to Austin, too (great art town!), but in the heart of a red state??? It’d be like living in East Berlin.

    btw, when you mated with someone equally attractive and charismatic and then saddled your female offspring with such a sexy name, what did you expect??? 😉

    ~ hb33 ~

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  20. Dan

    I “lost” your podcast for a while but then noticed that you were no longer there. First show back and instantly I recall why I liked your program. Your total lack of pretension is just so great. All of us have feelings of self doubt, poor self worth, etc that someone else is making worse.. But more often than not the guy/girl giving us a hard time is in all probability trying very hard to pretend they do not have self worth problems.

    Glad to be back hearing someone talking honestly about the hard parts of everyday life.

    GJ
    Melbourne Australia

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  21. Dan-

    Come to Des Moines. Trust me, we’re your people. Well at least I am. Frankly, the similarities between your family and mine freak me out sometimes. But I bet you get that alot. Your wife could even work at my company. Here are the job openings:
    http://www.integer.com/openings.php?des

    Seriously, keep fightin’ the good fight for all of us “everymen” out there. Even in the middle of a sea of corn, there are still people who look down there plastic little noses at those of us who aren’t falling into line with the entire culture of materialism and all of its ugly little foibles.

    And for me- it was my son who had four marriage proposals before he was out of preschool. Not the same thing, I know, but disturbing nonetheless.

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  22. Well, I’ll add an invitation to your list … have you thought about moving to Oklahoma? I love your podcast, and thru this whole rant, I was thinking … you DO NOT BELONG there … move to Oklahoma! Anyone will tell you we’re one of the friendliest states. I love Texas, but they do tend to think they are bigger, richer and better. I really could relate to your whole rant, and was even thinking, jeez you sound like a woman! I didn’t think guys ever worried about that stuff! My husband was a stay-at-home dad for several years when it was needed for our situation. And my kids turned out GREAT!

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  23. Hey Dan,

    You wold like Austin, and feel comfortable here (but not in August). The whole point of Austin is that it’s not like the rest of Texas. In fact, I think that sold be the city motto “We’re not like the rest of Texas”. Artsy types are not only welcome, but celebrated. Half the people I know make their livings in “non-traditional” ways. Or they work for the state. Or the University of Texas.

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  24. Hey Dan,

    The Metro Washington DC area has very mild winters but humid summers…much like those of your childhood…and…it’s only about 200 miles to NYC…

    If it weren’t for the darned politicians…this might be a great place!

    Awesome show…and as Lisa from the Viva Podcast said…they don’t all HAVE to be funny to be as enjoyable…

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  25. First off I’d like to say that I like what you’ve done. Your long rants are insightful.

    In the beginning of this peticular rant you pose the question of what body fat percentage you need to have, it’s about 5-7% but if your gonna have as high as 7% your max benching capibilitys has to be considerably higher then your body weight, these are the unspoken social rules.

    Now this sounds shallow and it is sorta, however being able to achieve a finely tuned phyiscal body does demonstrate qualitys that are desired in the mind, being deticated enough to consume the right foods, sleep the right hours, work the right muscles, this shows a remarable since of will power and detication.

    Futhermore at the kid party, where the guy forgot that you had met before, and you felt he had broken a social code by not acting respectibly. I do belive that there is a social code, however I see you as the intial code breaker in this instance, you said well “actually we have met before” or somethign to that nature, this statement while true is an insult, you essentially made him look dumb. Truth is a intresting concept however people are to fragile for it in it’s fullness.

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  26. Five to seven percent body fat? FINALLY. These are the kinds of guidelines that I need to get through life. Thank you.

    And, I agree, “being able to achieve a finely tuned phyiscal body does demonstrate qualitys that are desired in the mind, being deticated enough to consume the right foods, sleep the right hours, work the right muscles, this shows a remarable since of will power and detication,” but then again so does proofreading and spell checking.

    And lastly, I KNOW I BROKE A SOCIAL CODE. I said it in the show. “I made a mistake” I think was the way I described it. Look, if you’re only just NOW realizing that these stories of heavy with hypocrisy on my part, you must not be paying attention.

    I am not Dr. Phil.

    – dK

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  27. I have been listening to your podcasts for about 8 or 9 months. Love the show! I felt compelled to write after hearing the Brown Leather Chucks (even though I don’t know what kind of shoes they look like). I, too have been the victim of a cold shoulder on many occasions. Don’t let it get to you. I tell my husband, the used to be jock in high school, I never woud have dated him in a million years, if I had known him in high school. All my friends were the stoners and we did not associate with his kind. Somehow we got together in Fl and here we are married over 10 years. People like that guy that gave you the cold shoulder don’t deserve your wit and class. You’re better off not knowing him. He would bring down YOUR social status. Rock on!

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  29. We had one daughter bring home a boy that had an ankle bracelet on. The kind that the police put on you if you are under house arrest. We were dumb struck to say the least. His pants were down around his knees, looked like he hadn’t had a bath in weeks, nor shaved and definitely did not brush his teeth. Evidently hadn’t been to school as his English was limited. Our daughter just smiled as if he was the king of the world. Thank goodness that lasted about a week. Hope this gives you something to look forward to.

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