I’ve been ill this week, battling bronchitis. Nice. I’m hopped up on meds and coughing up toads.
This time we talk about taking the time to admire beauty, but not while you should be paying attention to other things.
Do NOT listen to Norm Augustinus while driving!
This week’s song is Hometown by Joel Parisien, now of the band New World Son.
Bonus Track: “God Save The Internet” by The Broadband (Kay Hanley, Jill Sobule, and Michelle Lewis). Check out Save The Internet, or independent shows like this one will be crushed by big biz.
![[VoiceIndigo Mobilize - Listen to podcasts on your mobile phone]](http://www.voiceindigo.com/ht2/images/mobilize_this.gif)
If you have a phone with internet capabilities, you may be able to have this podcast sent to your phone. Or, a friend’s phone. Whichever. We’re testing out this new service from our friends at VoiceIndigo. Let me know if you use it and what you think. I don’t have that kind of phone/access, so I’m in the dark…
I’m having trouble with the link for this episode, but if you want to try it out, also try clicking on the “Mobilize The Latest Episode” link in the sidebar.
when are you in NYC?
Best quote I’ve heard in a long time, from anyone.
“I’m James Bond. Except I’m James Bond shopping…for frozen waffles.”
I won’t tell. I promise.
Tim “lecherous boy” Coyne
Dan, you liar. “I’m not going to tell a story today,” you say near the beginning of the ‘cast. Then you proceed to go into one of the more hilarious tales you’ve spun, ever. True, this is one of your more everyday tales of woe, rather than a saga about auditioning for Star Trek in that glamourous world of Hollywood, but I think that’s why people like your podcast so much. They really relate to you. You’re the average American male in 2006. You’re the Norman Rockwell of bitching.
I find it amazing that in very show, Dan outlines problems and situations which I’m experiencing. Women in uniforms, stockings and heels? Oh my God, yes! Work in the CBD of any city and this is all you see when you walk the street. Drives a man mad.
Mum’s the word, Dan. No worries (well…how could there be).
Get well soon, eh.
I am always extremely focused dispensing petroleum into my family vehicle.
Overly concerned about static electricity causing a spark and igniting the fuel tank.
Don’t remove the nozzle if that happens!
Leave the cell phone in the car, another danger, so they say.
Thank you, Oprah Winfrey, for alerting me to these dangers, and instilling fear into my mind. My life is so much better now.
Fueling is a scary experience, and not just because of the digits on the ‘amount sold’ meter whizzing ever upward at an alarming rate.
Grocery shopping…that is always fun. Or do I mean necessary? I approach that as a hunt. And what I bring back is like the ‘bagged prey’ (paper or plastic?). Part of being a provider, I guess.
I wash my car once a year, whether it needs it or not. So don’t feel bad about that. Vacuums suck anyway.
Thanks for another entertaining glimpse into the life of a stay-at-home-dad in LA. Some differences between that and the same in rural PA. And similarities also.
Cheers!
(p.s. Hope you have a decent Father’s Day this Sunday)
Hi Dan,
Great show yet again!
I’ve had a similar gas non-pumping only this was at 3:00 am on a road trip from canada to florida…I must have fell asleep pumping when an airhorn rattled me awake and I hung up the hose and bolted out of the gas station.
Thanks for the Bitterest Pill. It’s comforting to know that I’m not going crazy with all this stuff happening around me.
Dan,
You never fail to provide and interesting and amusing show. Thank you.
I’m an NYC (area) resident and I think you may be underestimating the number of people who would come to have a beverage with you.
I’ll keep my eye open for when you’re going to be here.
e
Mum’s the word… Of course, if your wife is anything like my wife, she checks this site regularly…. my wife doesn’t check your site, she checks my site… never mind, you get it.
I think I’ll borrow that word of yours when I have to explain why I notice the buxom brunette jogging down the road, and work really hard not to look because my wife’s in the seat next to me, and she gives me that look… you know the look… and I have to respond, “WHAT!?” because I noticed… man… hyper-hetero… good defense.
Loving the orange sherbert lately, not really a big yogurt fan.
Ok, folks, I want it on the record here that I did NOT say “Hyperhetero? Is that another word for lecherous?”. I wish I did, but I didn’t.
Really, I’m as guilty as anybody else regarding “looking”. Heck, even Jimmy Carter lusted in his heart. We all admire until we are in the grave.
Oh and one of my favorite “Boston Legal” episodes is all about Schadenfreude. It’s even got Heather Locklear in it. Episode 2, season 2.
Beth B.
Okay, Couldn’t resist.. I looked it up:
Main Entry: lech·er·ous
Pronunciation: ‘le-ch&-r&s, ‘lech-r&s
Function: adjective
: given to or suggestive of lechery
– lech·er·ous·ly adverb
– lech·er·ous·ness noun
Main Entry: lech·ery
Pronunciation: -rE
Function: noun
: inordinate indulgence in sexual activity : LASCIVIOUSNESS
SICKO
Great podcast Dan! one of the most colorfull shows youve made, been sick always helps lol! anyway, hope your feeling better.
Hi to the family!
Dan:
I think having kids under ten tends to overload the brain of even the most linear thinker. I think (and I hope) this will pass as the kids age.
And, it’s OK to forget to pump the gas. It’s better than what I’ve done–which is to drive away from the pump with the nozzle still in the gas tank. Thankfully the pump had shut off. When this happens, the nozzle flies away from the car and shoots back to the pump with a resounding thunk. It’s kind of a snazzy way to end a gas station visit.
Henry
Forgetting to fill the tank is one thing, driving away from the pump with the nozzle still in the gas tank is another. I’ve done the latter (thankfully the pump had shut off).
Sometimes when I listen I feel as if I am right there (at the LA gas station, for example) with you. And when you are deep in a story, I feel like I can’t breathe–like something is strangling you and there is an enormous weight on my chest. Then you go on a tangent and that weight presses down! Am I losing my mind? I can smell the airplane exhaust and the overpowering jet noise oppresses me further. Panic is clawing inside me and I can’t think or get away. Your voice strains to be heard and grips me… You squeeze my own memories and regrets and fears out before me and then with a flourish it’s over . Anyhoo, thanks for the show.
Dan –
you were simply brilliant this week, from the imagery of the story that you painted to letting us peak in on what is going through your mind..and the delivery is impeccable…
quoting one of my favorite lines from Blazing Saddles, “you use your tongue prettier than a $20 whore…”
Henry, You are spot on about the kids being a synapse sucking vortex. Wow, I am impressed with the forgetting of the gas nozzle. That’s an especially spectacular example. I myself have walked away from the ATM machine without taking my cash. Fortunately, the next person took pity on me and called me back. Just as vapidly stupid as your situation, but not nearly as dramatic.
I think I’ll post on my blog some other moronic things I’ve done that I blame entirely on my children for blotting out my brain waves…
B.
Beth I may have you all beat…A few months ago, I went grocery shopping – and had my cart full to the brim. I went through the checkout stand, WATCHED the kid bag everything up, Swiped my debit card, put the card in my purse, took the receipt, and promptly began walking toward the door..WITHOUT my cart full of groceries..The bagger had the most stunned look on his face when I returned for the cart ( I was nearly to my car by the time I realized what I had just done) I will never forget the comical “holding back the laughter” look on his face as I took my cart from him… J.
Hi Dan – we’ve had a lot of catching up to do but have just been listening to this episode and thought we should explain what “sick” means in England. If you’d said “my sister’s sick”, that would mean exactly what you had intended it to mean. It’s only if you’d said “my sister’s been sick” that everyone would have thought she was throwing up. Does that make sense? Oh well….
thanks.
thanks for your posts.. even during your illness! Keep updating interesting posts!