This is a short show about rage. Rage and anger. Well, probably really just frustration and disappointment.
I was nearly run off the freeway by a guy in a florist’s truck. I wanted to beat him to death with a rake, but I was late to an audition. I almost got another part in a commercial, but bosses are not supposed to be short, bald and nearsighted. Such is life, on and off screen…
Premium Edition: About 35 minutes, I think.
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I am not a little, balding middle age man but I feel your rage. I live in Atlanta and they pass you from the right, they pass you from the left, heck they would fly over you if they could. Traffic here is ridonculous. The trucks are really bad. I was so afraid of driving that at 17 my father finally had to force me to drive. He used to tell me that if you could drive in the heck that is Atlanta traffic than you could drive anywhere. I have never driven in California and I have heard it is uber bad too. I HAVE driven on the Queen E in Canada and almost had a heart attack. They do not have the concept of merging onto the highway down yet. You literally would sit at the end of the on-ramp until you saw a space and than GO MAN GO!
It all comes down to what you said – everyone thinks they are so darn important, that they are in more of a hurry, that their time is worth more than everyone elses. That is, after all, what truly passes for the American way anymore.
Firstly, I am happy to pay $4, which is a bargain with the currency conversion. Go buy yourself a treat Dan with the extra dough!
This issue of poor driving is pretty bad here too. We have much narrower roads too but a much higher speed limit, which almost no-one follows, so, on a 70mph motorway (freeway), people will regularly do 90 and sometimes more. We do drive on the right side though (the left) and only pass one side.
What we don’t have very much here that they certainly do in the States are those GINORMOUS pick up trucks. Heaven knows why someone in LA would need one of those, but when I was there I saw loads – maybe they have a certain presence on the road that other drivers have to take note of.
Just a few tips that have served me well over the years with those meat heads (usually in commercial vehicles like small vans) who ride your tail.
1. If they are a big truck, wait for a reasonably long hill, then slow down, especially when they can’t pull round you, say down to about 20 mph on a steady slow down, and then hit the gas – and watch their spitting screaming face in the mirror as they realise they are going to have to go in crawler gear for miles to get back up to speed again.
2. Don’t forget the value of not braking but hitting your hazard lights or your rear fog lights – they will usually hit their brakes and leave you some space.
3. A light tap on the brakes, as long as they are not too close, can tell them not to ride your tail. Years ago I had an immense pleasure in doing this with an asshole in a new sports car and watched him just about snake off the road when he hit the brakes. sweet.
One final thought, remember Police Academy 2 (I think). Hightower was a florist, so you could get someone like him if you pull the van over.
Wayne – lol – Hightower. Remember when he stole the jerk police recruit’s little car to learn to drive and he accidentally hit that guy’s car at a stop light?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phHZ2HOkn8s
Oh just once to be able to be that physically impressive!
However, I am a woman and I would have preferred to be physically impressive like Phoebe Cates in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqMIfeTc-CM
I miss the 80s!
Me too RZ. Hard not to mention this all time classic car related scene from one of the best movies from the 80’s.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wP7GQmvN5pM
Oh Ferris Bueller how we love and miss thee . . .
Now if they EVER try to do a remake of that movie I will really lose it. Some movies need to be left alone and not be remade and this is one of them.
P.S. Dan when is the next New 80s Music coming out? FYI You got me hooked on that Dragonette song! Love it.
Ha. Same thing happened to my dad…we sort of. He got ran off the road by a Goodwill truck. My dad ended up on top of a 4 foot high snow bank. FUN! Do you think the truck was full of really snobby clothes?
well sort of* Spell check is not your friend.
I downloaded this podcast thinking maybe you have a funny story about road rage. Definitely not. I had a hard time listening to……………………… it………………………………………….
because of………………………………….. .all………………………………………..
the …………………………pauses…………
you put………………..between…………words.
Are you trying to be like William Shatner, or is….
your…..stream.. of… conscience … just a little
slow.?
If the pauses are due to editing, put bleeps in so listeners don’t think you’re just unable to speak fluently.
The pauses make the stories!
This is hilarious! Did they actually tell you that(bosses are not supposed to be short, bald and nearsighted)or it was a bright guess? I get that sometimes, see am also short, bald and nearsighted…..it helps when you are your own boss beskatning udlejning I guess. At least you have the “radio show” to fall back on 🙂
Man, I’ve got that road rage in me. For me it happens when I’m walking, though; I’ve found myself wanting to kick passing cars when they cut me off in the crosswalk. Time for me to take a chill pill when that happens, especially with all the gun-toters here in Alabama…
Harold, what are you doing in Alabama? When did you leave LA? Man, am I behind…