#239: Six-String Jello Slinger

This one sounds kind of strange to me.  I think my microphone is dying. I guess after yelling into it for 6 years it’s bound to wear out.  Is that even possible, can you wear out a microphone?

I am obsessed with guitars.  I think I want to learn to play guitar for the sole purpose of justifying the purchase of a guitar.  I cool guitar.  A cool electric guitar that I can touch and polish and carry around the house with me like a security blanket.  It is my convertible Vette.  It is my liposuction.  It is my six-stringed mid-life crisis.

My daughter had to do a presentation as a “Notable American.”  She chose Sacagawea, the native American woman who helped Lewis and Clark explore the wild west.   I thought it was a good idea until we got to the part of our research that included her being kidnapped and later sold to a French Canadian trapper to be his wife.  Is this really appropriate for 2nd grade?

I’m still trying to figure out what makes an American “notable.”  I guess there are different degrees of “notable-ness.”  In her class there were presidents and explorers and inventors and suffragettes.   And a football player.  And a lady golfer.  Really?  Being good at sports is just as notable as building the first airplane or writing the Declaration of Independence?  Man, that dude must have been REALLY good at playing football…

I had two auditions in one day: the important one and the one where I had to be half naked.  I almost didn’t make it to the half naked one.  Then, I thought I got the half naked job.  Turn out what I got was a hankering for some Jello Sensational Sensations.

Premium Edition: A hour, eleven minutes

7 thoughts on “#239: Six-String Jello Slinger

  1. I know what you mean about the notable people thing at school. We ran into the same thing a few years ago when my daughter was in 4th grade. My daughter ended up being Molly Pitcher stationed next to a BMX racer. What? Next thing you know Betsy Ross will be put near Snookie or The Situation – God help us all.

    Sorry about the auditions. As a VERY struggling writer it is hard to be turned down time and time again only to see the muck that is published. It feels like some days we are in opposite land – bad is good and good is bad. Keep at it. Easy for me to say – right?

    Now Dan you know I love you. However, guitars, not so much. That being said I know about having a family budget because I am the waaaay frugal one. However, I think that you are worth at least $150 one time to get an electric guitar. I have to believe your wife would agree or should.

  2. Beat me to it Lucas.

    Dan, if I didn’t think the shipping would be a problem, oh, and the voltage issue, you could have my Strat rip off guitar and amp because I have I suspect zero chance of using it.

    Loved the thought of that HUGE styrofoam block!

    Sorry, I still laugh at the crazy word you have for jelly 🙂

  3. Wayne, that’s a very nice thought, but I’m sure it’d cost much less to just buy a Strat rip off here.

    I still laugh at the idea of calling gelatin desserts “jelly.” That is a word we reserve for “a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit (or vegetable) juice and set using naturally occurring pectin.” Don’t remember what it’s called in the UK. Maybe you don’t bother eating it. Sort of jam’s translucent cousin? Or is it just Jello you spread on toast?

    Lucas should not know that much about Justin Beiber.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *