This is what episode #302 of The Bitterest Pill looks like if I shove it through Dragon Dictate:

What exhibitors does that class and my garage in a somewhat after stay-at-home dad issues shut in it is worrying that will basically so here I am high I’m in my garage as you know in a you know week drywall and everything is were drywall have a lot of been sitting in this drywall box was built might buy my cousins the loadbearing stud talent 11 sitting in his drywall box and whenever I go to say I’m sitting in a drywall I cant the word drywall: second goal on I’m sitting in a drywall box under the flight path at Los Angeles international Airport my dog is here did you know even have a dog are you just returning to me now Megan after so long as I was is that so he so here’s the statement of a weird even begin welcome to the Bristol I think this is number 302 I have no idea Seoul will let you know because what will “get the enemy will make a beginning in reasonable time of it really insignificant stuff so Sunday I got together Lance Anderson member Lance Anderson of a verge of the fringe podcast podcasting pioneer storyteller Lance Anderson so Lance started and has been the chief whatever of LA podcast is little group in a where in LA were broadcasters we get together and we did get in a get together with the grant but Shoko from real adventures Dr. Floyd in place after I send Larry from the poetry sent in order of these belly people Bush and Tim Coyne and so on Sunday there was little pen of reunion meet another many people came and him but world Sachin Grant was there and Lance and Steve was simply let last name forgive me last names are eluding me Paul as the dog scratching no less danger eluding me because of my emotional state and will were getting to that that’s where we’re going you say so what happens me to and Paul and I who does a Disneyland podcast or series of Disneyland but he may have a Disneyland podcast Empire am not really clear but he and I start time of the fact that in all four years ago whatever it was I took the premium built US stop can you stop making sound everybody you’re being too much attention to me go lie down and sleep used your I bond me shaking do you hear that okay so but Loblaw premium bill blah blah blah 299 a month you know how goes right you know so he was asking me how was gone and I might listen man obviously I don’t recommend it you know is that all these listeners and I put up that wall the only couple of blossom your fine fine people and you know how much I love you you help support me in my family for the last four years monogamy ~really jump a wall that a lot of people that in on I liken to do when Howard Stern went to serious adverse serious I just say goodbye to Howard Stern I stop listening down Stern I didn’t subscribe I admit it’s so a single Paul on Sunday no ball whatever whatever I had to do it again if I had it to do again I think I may have even said I probably wouldn’t do it again in a use that business model to monetize quote unquote the podcast okay so this is on Sunday note in tandem with this synchronicity is simultaneous right and I’m getting emails and Facebook posts and tweets and from the listeners feel listeners that I have sang a day and every time I try to get the new show rule in getting an error message from iTunes so because I am not only the show host and producer writer executive producer craft service centers and also edit as you can imagine tech-support so I look into it and so I write to my man Paul Paul Colligan who got me involved in premium cast the company that end up cannot you know they had all this and a bit and since I log in the premium cast and put in the new show I put in the link to the new shell in and I save and works apparently premium desk I bought by another company name nano cast something like that and on soap I contact Paul Paul contacts nano Kaczmarek as get back to Paul Paul gets back to me and basically says now because shutdown premium cast and I you have membership the premier in the even put that in delicately I’m putting it that in delicately basically the premier Bill just kind of got like a big switch just got flipped announced on my list of subscribers the mechanism by which they are maintained the list of all the shock was in the system pillbox pillbox to build box 3 which was almost done and ready to be distributed the box for which was halfway down and read it right all the informational the hours of data entry and cutting and pasting and visiting in batting every gone gone so Yamaha gone now so where that right so your redoubt so here I am in its Monday now at this point and I get this email and I written alike does no more show because I don’t even know of anybody still is is for free and is my fault I know I was even telling Paul at the thing like Disney bars like Disney ball I’ve so neglected the free feed only by as soon as to works I put stuff on it every once in well-known contact me about it I probably have no lives at you whatever and you know I fantasize about quitting doing this because listen I been doing this for eight years eight years eight year look receiver in all slight literally on November what is it November 4 eight complete years of doing this thing that I’m been doing and so I’ve finally seen Mrs. Alec this opportunity gets right dumped into my lap like Harry out and convince anyone glad okay buddy go for it none of the other part of me like I I am free but not free of the shelf free of the premium show free of that feeling that I have to put out a show and it’s something I have to do is part of my job and my egg and hang with her thing with the thing of course now you figure out how to make the mutton is basically what am when the guy flipped the switch he’s the cut off on a fairly significant revenue stream for Danny boy not a gigantic not alike right pay all your bills revenue stream but it’s a amount of money that I went hey would you be willing to not have their you say not now willing cannot have that I need that that’s a chunk man but as of right now that the bidders those free were back I’m those of you that never jump a wall is now down the bitterest pill birth and fall has been destroyed and I I’m somewhat elated by the whole thing so so the ability that have listened in four years high I’m still small and bald I still wear glasses I’m trying to get acting jobs in TV shows not happening we have a dog since you go his rescue mutt he’s been here two years I’m still married and have kids all the little huts and you are little Hudson my daddy will now make an announcement member him yet he’s a teenager his teenager who’s taller than his mother and freaking out or shopping high schools that saw that’s it so on with my life so this is where we left off business were done with that were done with that were done without circular list of the premier built with the of the Bitterest is no sustaining more supreme till the debt and it may never come back ever okay this is now this is a podcast called the bitterest pill hello I started doing this in November 4, 2004 you can take away for me no matter how hard you try so I so no on with the show did I say you a hypocrite so my daughter did the commercial and it sinister to error us somewhere I think your California annoyed to my daughter for those you just tuning in my daughter is going to be in a commercial for a big car company I’ve might say now it’s Honda Symbian bighearted commercial on is a big unabated as it was big to shield okay that Reno so my daughter you’ll have to listen to Mike in its final thing again okay I don’t know where you’ve been there for years I’m not getting into it but my daughter is in a commercial that is going to start airing November or something like 19% so this is really adorable awesome blonde little like nine-year-old has my daughter that is my spot that is one of the two gifts that I give to you world I’ve accomplish nothing really honestly in my life except 302 of these psychotic recordings and might get so when you see how to commercial with the really cute blonde girl talking to the camera the whole time that’s her so but Loblaw so she got hired to do this commercial and I don’t I don’t remember always we would literally have about this at way okay guzzler Cyclades was I with us for little while and then my with my wife called I edited it out but my wife called and I’m she needs me to record some these women take a break is a better so in my wife and I are really that anxious for my daughter to be in commercials let’s be very clear my wife works on him in advertising on one side of the camera I work in advertising and the other really nice not like a dream come true for her to be in this commercial other than were so proud of her and all that can stuff suddenly so she didn’t get cast and she’s been such approach you to does demo for it and she was approach is awesome and she’s awesome and in part Lansing they come her father and I love her and she’s like a little blonde me but I was just objectively my daughter’s awesome and I’m sorry and I’m not apologize for that reason of the grandeur about some got of complex because my daughter’s awesome that’s your right keep that baggage on your cart baby I’m going to the penthouse with my little star so we know that the shoot is coming up and they tell us know the shoots and beyond skin with a Tuesday or whatever not starting distress focus on the show for bodyguard adult die right and I know what she’s getting yourself into getting yourself into a real shoot like with cameras and lights and grips and makeup and hair and what might be every just 100 people standing around staring at her Fred day or two as I am getting a little uptight for her and one of the first things I get to worry about is where are we going to shoot because my daughter does not do really that honestly that will in the car she gets car sick of obviously awesome that she’s in a car commercial that she gets car sick of really am worried before long before that whether she’s any a carsick on the way there because life is why work ~call me tonight before I go hey Dan okay or were shooting tomorrow at 6 AM in Sun Valley and I forget the crack of dawn which she is not yet all I can drive at the Sun Valley which she is not really not really not good alike but is not mean this in the commercial it’s my daughter so my daughter gets a call not at like 830 the night before but I like 3 o’clock the night before and they say hi to him calling with Toulouse is my daughter’s name call time and wouldn’t be shooting of our initiation is to be there around and I figure what they said was something like 10 in the morning which is insane and maybe it’s because she’s a minor she can only be there for so many hours majestic the school for so many hours but her callsign is 10 and.net 630 10 and so then I say because I’m dreading this drive I’m just dreading it is what we had to do is pull over the river on the freeway with I get off the freeway pull over and let her walk around for a while admin were used to this but it’s not you try to start so I say just like and brace myself and can’t embrace her wool where we can shoot and she says overshooting over in Westchester do you know where that is and I say yes that’s where we live we live in Westchester are you serious so I get where shooting and she gives me the address and fight March shooting out near the corner of 79th St. and the Halifax Atlantic in the name of it so my daughter might my daughter the one that’s just right this should be a sign for me to get out and her to get in my daughters called I was 10 o’clock in the morning you don’t really honestly like a block and a half from our house so the next day you know she gets to sleep in her brother goes to school I take her brother to school I come back where you are a little breakfast I think we took a bath blah blah blah we had over to the set and really literally we just go to the other side of the Main Street from her inner neighborhood there’s a main subfolder runs through Westchester and we just go to the other side of that in the instructions that we have are to park in some model in the parking lot of a church it’s on the corner of some bulletin 79th St. which we do so people in their Moorpark right and it’s about five or 10 of 10 or whatever and there’s a guy standing around in the parking lot is there typically is like a security guide I say the security guy had their to be a fan to take able to the set or do we just walk or what we do and he says all ages walk it’s just down the points it is just up there I go okay not get a nine-year-old girl with me any points we start walking because he said there is no ban and were walking and walking and I’m like honey were to be there soon and I’m walking and walking were walking am I Honey I hope were going the right direction because were walking and were just in the middle of the neighborhood and I don’t I don’t see the set and I don’t see a van and I don’t see anything so she is walking up that the street I’m walking up the street backwards looking for a van to come by delegate explained or only I know you’re getting tired just my her legs only like a foot and a half long she’s nine finally this van comes by that and you know you think on the spot crewmembers after a while

after a decade you tend to be able to right after long enough in the business you could be blindfolded taken to a set they take the blindfold off and you could name everybody’s role in the right year the camera guy year the grip your make up your wardrobe craft service go finally the spam comes by and I’ve had a way of him and I I had to interview for a Honda is like a why you go if you want to does that IGF it’s really far and I’ve got her with me and can you give us a ride any light what I guess I could but it’s right Barry points and were literally 10 steps from it we walked a quarter of a mile or half a mile but yet were there too late and I think I will so was there of Van any site sure you should just take in the van I would given your ride him him him now the bar the story that I have not told you is so they call me to give me the time they said we need to be there 10 in your neighborhood and I say great and I asked them if they can send us a call sheet L call she’s just a big old spreadsheet he looking page is at everybody’s name and everybody’s of in a email or whatever but Ruth had everybody’s name in their position and what time they need to be there what time you’re shooting where you’re shooting all that stuff and just and having quiche forget someone’s name economy like someone even introduced to three times like the wardrobe person or the producer something is just good to have that you can cannot you study so doesn’t, doesn’t, doesn’t even come I have to cut about them a little bit of a finally set it the next day the day were to shoot at about 9 o’clock before were heading over there my wife is decided she wants to come over and she’s anything but half-day antenna work from there but be on the set to now hang out with our daughter was never done this before and it was essentially the star this commercial self I get the call sheet and what what what happens is whenever I go to an audition because my wife is in the business I come home from the addition and Melissa will ask me cool was the director this was David’s call back and I will typically say I don’t know honey they don’t introduce themselves they just don’t I’m an actor you don’t understand how low on the portable I am just an actor he got relax I don’t so now I’ve gotten into the habit because I really want to avoid these conversations I’ve gotten into the habit of when I can looking to lease find out for the production committee is and the agency does not listen those are the easiest wife telling to the production company is a camera in the name doesn’t really matter so I get the call sheet I look to see the name of the director because I had met in the at the wardrobe fitting in was wasn’t there and his name is Frank and I recognize his last name his name I recognize Frank’s name not because we’ve met and I’m because he’s commercial director but because I think he’s one of the last guys might wife dated before we met I think see I think the year before the school year before we met we met in November October 2019 but anyway the year before that I think this he graduated a year before us from Syracuse at the predict dated okay so let me get this straight my daughter is in a commercial and were shooting in my neighborhood and the director is guy that my white nine only been married for 20 years I know that the understand part of me still really honestly only 1719 tops is just weird it is that we are or they just totally normal but because I met my wife when I was 19 2022 let’s say 2019 2020 at 2221-ish we are part a limit right now as an adult it’s not like I dated into my 30s in automated later date into your 30s released running into people that you know you dated or people that your spouse and stated the following normal thing is not a normal thing for me because we live in California and we grew up in New York or school in New York such, a little odd right but because I’m trying to seem even to my wife like in a mature adult man I refuse to ask my wife for details now about something that we discussed in all old when we first became seriously involved like all EIF or little while I when I went for Frank now but are you I can’t stand in my bedroom as my wife is getting rid of my wife right of 20 years and say hey by the way can you clarify it’s an finer points for me of the extent of your dating Frank 3025 years ago can we delete is categorically little refresher before he hit the set’s I need to now because I know would be weird if we went to the set and there was a woman there that I had dated which is just as unlikely/likely and just as possible/impossible and I know that would be weird light had a bill and their you with is my way to go review met in a backup silly into the settling school please find whatever but Melissa and I are very strong of you know where little controlling in the food department with our kids and one of the main reasons is as you know daddy me I suffer from times you know why we call it a low blood sugar I can just eat what I want cousin makes me more crazy than I am so we tend to kind of try to manage specially when one of our children is I don’t know working in professional situation try to manage their food but wait when we arrive on the set we are immediately introduced to the set teacher because minors when they were, said they have to have be taught if you go to school that we taught us to be a teacher/social worker there and this teacher/social worker guide I guess to like her the favor of my daughter keep supplying her with snack food that we would never give her ever even if she was just innocent home and watch TV all day let alone if she had to memorize lines and hit marks and do the same thing over and over again like a professional actor perfectly nice woman but I just like in the cheese naps can wheel diagram of plans and though our support the date does become, this weird NL chemical juggling act of maintaining my daughters of glucose will focus right okay so lunchtime comes and I’m starting to get hungry to his lunchtime an intranet in on whatever and I got a make sure the two loop goes to lunch gets a decent lunch needs a decent lunch and gets back on the set and half an hour that is my job right so we get flu at her hot” hot visits you know a September October here at this point which raises hot she’s in winter close boots gloves scarf hat whatever the whole regalia and were going to eat and I’m really glad that were going to eat and then of Melissa and Frank show up and should by God and in just like all yet or just talking up raggedy and his wife just moved here in the suddenly I’m in a conversation with my wife and Frank about wearable where Frank is living now and as a disease limit in the power fades and unlike mean I don’t mean to be a Dick but Oak Casa and that’s great Westside Westside yeah what what amazed by how much was responded that I got each man I got even feebly as I’m glad you guys are having a completely innocuous catch-up session trust me but I do please don’t suck me into Smalltalk that is that minute that I’m like why do I like not really how I responded that he’s the director of the commercial the my daughter our daughter is working in and I don’t know what to say to Franks living in the Palisades and me all you nine guy got nothing so then the teacher just keeps offering to load like the wrong wrong you note see teacher you’re supposed to be bribing her to eat the food she should be eating with the Fuji was to eat the don’t just give her the white rice okay can she’ll just sit there she’s nine she doesn’t give a crap chilly white rice all day funny pleased we got if we have to force feed her some chicken that’s going to have to get done because were only halfway through a day a day she has lines after lines after lines after lines can be in a car all the abuses please can week and I cannot be the adult and not you be the adult that you are used to like how does this usually work with the real stage moms with the tensile and tear stage moms or whatever the wacky boo-boo honeydew do whatever okay no might might my daughter is a complete pro she did great I am in by I wish I had her everything because she shamed me into thinking that I need to reevaluate my here but she had associate now shut a good lunch ran back in satin and a little little while later she got a little hungry shed a little break and so she asked me if she could have a pop tart and I said well you know honey did very well with your lunch we don’t exactly have pop tarts around the house is not that common that were near you know a pop tart such a what you can absolutely have a pop tart I will join to post it yet okay I will toast you a pop can be going to back to the set so I am in the craft service wagon and apparently burning a pop tart for my daughter so I take that pop tart and I don’t have a paper plate and have a paper bowls I put the burnt pop tart in the paper bowl and I put another pop tart in the toaster and eight watch it but even watching that when I send my burnouts and I have two burnt pop tarts in a paper bowl I go back to the set where to Lewis you note him standing there having some negotiation with Frank and the script supervisor was is gone by now she had go back to work so they are trying to convince her to eat something for some reason and I show up with a bowl with two pumps hard Senate and there give me this look like a later hell you doing with those two pop tarts so they keep saying articles should you want some fruit or something and she’s like no not really because she knows that I’ve outright I’ve promised her a pop tart sushi guy had his education I reentered pop tart okay but they are try to get her to eat some fruit and I say now I’m just to give her a little bit of this it it’s fine I got an drove Eric Willits my wife is to the so I so they say you don’t want some fruit and she says no and I say it’s okay she can have this and then they keep there, like talking to me but they’re facing her missing but you might be better if you had some fruit and I’m starting get pissed off because I’ve got two people telling me how to feed my daughter so I say the guys I’ve got it under control and honestly she’s a little hypoglycemic so I really keep an eye on her sugar intake of eggs I got it and then the script surveys like all anti-label glycemic to yes sheet location like an apple or that or something to that has a low and I just like listen it’s okay please everyone I’m 10 seconds away from having a shared threat so I have to like how do I navigate this send not working is not my job I medically the actor so I don’t really honestly Frank have to kiss your ass so I’m about to say tell you what guys I won’t tell the director where to put the camera and I will tell the script supervisor how much to feed her cats and you guys don’t tell me what to give to Lou about okay but until you let me set up the shots and you let me drown your kittens you that a just back off so I say to them as calmly as I can and I don’t know how I did tell you what guys if you want her to keep working let me just give her a little bit of this pop tart like I promised and then you can continue shooting does that sound reasonable and I want to convey with that statement that was being supportive and just trying to take care of my daughter but if they didn’t acquiesce I would pull her aside for a completely unpredictable amount of time where she and I could discuss whatever we want because she is a minor and I’m her father so they said okay so I gave her a bit of pop tart she survived she shot the damn commercial it was glorious know what I haven’t mentioned is my wife and I had decided that we didn’t want polluted tell everybody that she was doing this commercial until we knew for sure that she was doing it and we knew for sure was can Aaron all like a stuck as you know what you does never know and she can really good about it she didn’t know she didn’t tell her for okay she told a friend she told the free night tell a kid not to write of course it is a something but for the most part for a nine-year-old who goes to school of a lot of competitive checks she didn’t say much and I was part of the reason two is listen some of her friends are real friends and some are friends I worry argument be really competitive little should heads about the whole thing so why am we asked her not to tell me what we are very quite I we didn’t really get into with many of her friends that were in I told some people that were completely not really on a day-to-day basis connect with economic I keep it out of to lose little circle of reality can you hear the guy mowing I know I say this every time and my friend people call me like it and you I always ask if we can hear the dog argument we can hear on you back in here and him and so I was still obligated as a host you can hear that come on really this room is not that some proof I can hear it the ergo but as your host I feel obligated to go sorry but that sounded just dreadful and no it just wrestling no but I didn’t get chance to finish this recording yesterday and so I’ve right I’m trying to Sarah and tip issues to Sarah and can’t think of that work right now it’s not one I use I was basically behind her back try to start the recording again a day later without you noticing yesterday the guy was mowing and I was your mowing visits Wednesday my point is this so were in Westchester were shooting a commercial no one supposed to know and you know commercials take a long time to shoot and so we started 10 whatever and then that young time ticks away and pretty soon known it’s after three and now by this point we’ve moved from where we started on one side of this certain street to the other side of the certain street and to lose in the car she’s in the car with the four other girls the girl supposedly plainer sister not supposedly the girl actually will hear sister she Ashley was downplaying the sister was not the theoretical situation so the girls of being her sister and then the sisters three friends are all in the car and Toulouse in the car and they have to keep doing these weird things that you take out the door take out the window state of the windshield take writer attempted to get the shots so before you know it it’s after three and at sometime around you know let’s say three 3345 a minivan pulls up across from where were shooting in the driveway that for hours earlier I had been standing around in watching my daughter on the monitor so in this driveway where I’d been standing pulls a minivan and out of the minivan gets out one of Toulouse classmates and her brother and her mother now you can imagine if you’re a child of nine or five or the mother of a child 95 and you come home Audi must’ve known the people as we were in the lawn for a half a day That they were in the London network Russ Street of course there can look like all look their spirit right there for me a commercial is not interesting and they can’t come too close to the car because it’s surrounded by crewmembers and I’m literally hiding underneath my baseball hat like she is going to see me because the mother someone that we socialized with outside of school event having this is like small world and an know once posted no as we’ve made this big proclamation the Toulouse not allowed to tell anyone so the kids go in the house and the mother is standing in the middle of the street with her geriatric neighbor who’s been watching all day and there discussing what’s going on and then eventually the mother goes in the house now likely this was the Timex of the mother goes in if you can imagine almost immediately after that because to list right she is the main actor in this commercial and so the director keeps shouting to her and I has to shout because Toulouse in a car with the windows up because it’s wintertime the tractor is shouting okay… But past time that they are and so pay a job in yammering that was great to allow more time like that but when you leave RLL 20 to locate and remain far allow baddies shouting directly at the house of the classmate who’s not supposed to know you have a classmate business post a note as we don’t want all her bitchy little bitch friends at school defined out the little God and so-and-so’s bright yet the friend she was not sounds in a class pretty much that we went in had a big dinner party with two weeks ago yellow directors shouting or has a job in here in this commercial Video setback on the next day and… Allow faster slower this time okay threat is that a little more serious funny okay wonderful but as far as I know they never figured it out even though I mean how could you not impressed if someone was standing outside of my house shooting a commercial and someone was yelling the name of one of my inner like right now right now Joe Mont below is just year the Garner dive somebody right just randomly was shooting a commercial açai house and the director is going job on below Joe Mond Lau plays start your Mauer now mojo Knoblauch an year I said forward I think I would notice the drilling of the much more to tell you about that honestly couple days later we would shut the rest of the commercial we went to him you know the exact opposite of where we were as week the first a was in our neighborhood in a real house well on the lawn of two real houses and then add the house and everything are whatever whatever and on the second day which was the following Monday I think we were up at Warner Bros. in Burbank at this place called the Warner branch in its you know it’s it’s a back lot essentially it’s a bunch of fake houses and some think the part of building something brownstones a fountain a swimming pool bubble bobble block so we show up there and it’s just a midst in its conical I have been in the back lot no long time and it was really you can awesome to take the kids there are Hudson ever been on something like that he likes direct and shoot videos knowledge as in your Rihanna back lot in a Magyar kids in his goal these are all empty and Mrs. Fagan Allawi and were walking around the block of this fake block you know through the neighborhood part and then passed where Toulouse can shoot no next further putting some fake snow on our house which is always weird when 70° in your Los Angeles Museum house that’s covered in snow in the past the brownstones and were walking around his big area and then meet in all this the center of this, block that were walking in there is one very likes it with a swimming pool and a fountain in this fountain is so 10 of distinct and familiar looking and it doesn’t you know it cannot like that what there be a fountain those that don’t know why there would be a fountain other than I realized this is the fountain I’m been a sound so my age right now but forgive me this is the fountain hey Dan hey Dan this is your is the back your mind I hated the sun from friends no down down down down… Read Joey splashing around Phoebe Red Cross falls and that’s that’s the fountain from friends I would bet any amount of money that’s that’s a phone from friends no luck late because it’s 2012 while at my the back my mind is saying this the front of my monies going don’t you have an iPhone or something that you could Google right can you do a little Internet search and find out what the friends felt looks like in compared contrast so I googled friends fountain and if you Google friends fountain you get a lot of pictures of fountains and you know what they’re not all the same found about and there’s a significant number of people in here in the United States that are convinced that the fountain in the beginning of friends is actually in New York City that are not they think that right friends actually was shot in New York City that those are real people there really went to Central Park which is really in New York City and it’s not and it wasn’t in the knot and they weren’t they were all in California they probably never they probably never shot a single moment of that show in New York as far as our member of any were never the least on Seinfeld every once in a while you get the feeling like all that was really argued their net friends know but if you sift through the Google search of friends fountain enough to get past the pictures the German tourists take of themselves in Central Park at a fountain roughly 8 times the size of the one in the promo that write the entries this is for the title sequence of friends it’s only large enough for say how shall we say six people it is not the one in Central Park that is right about the seconds of six blocks yeah it that we at the Warner Ranch in Burbank California you go to that fountain and if you count of get the right and camera angle with your eyeballs there is the building in the background that the founders were glad lying.please let me beat Joey Arabic no cross how has came but that but there’s no store did it we did was fun she’s awesome November 19 thing is was to be on that’s all you know is this holiday season my nine-year-old daughter will have much more awesome commercial on the air than I do and that’s life in a nutshell I was thought that my son would surpass me before my daughter because he has a four right for your lead on her but the you my daughter’s nine no no I’m not like I’m competing with my daughter I’m not I’m a father and I’m rational and I love her so proper and really see she’s also man she’s awesome I love her so much it’s insane I love my daughter so much that when she said you know you have to interrogate your kids every fall because will we hear your goal is you have to get them to decide on a holding custom in the after ordered the hollering custom and it has to arrive before they change their mind but not so much before Halloween that they’re so much time to get right if it’s a very narrow window of opportunity that the stall in the ghetto to related or you’re dead in the water so my daughter you know him before school starts in September my kids are looking through custom catalogs and they coast are coming in the mail that time a year is not like even stashed away in their bedroom and pull amount September they just aren’t arriving in the mailbox in September and so she starts the whole process every year every time you no issue to be Lucille Ball-ish you get a be a teenage zombie cheerleader Michigan of the horrible marks Michigan Avenue B Burton Guster from psych majors goes on and on around around maybe shall be a witch again to she likes to scare people and you so this year and in amongst all that my daughter said you know what I want to be and she said a really, like decisively URL to be for Holly in this year on appeal waffle and my wife and I respond with sews seriously what even to be and she says I’m to be lawful and were like yeah so anyway are you to be the zombie cheerleader acrylic min Lucy can be cute little dress only now I want to be a waffle is really for three weeks we tried to talk her out of wanting to be a waffle because you can’t go to your local parties city in order a waffle costume no way the if you can I’ve never seen it if I’ve seen it I bet I would have shown it to my daughter and she would’ve said man like that because the this waffle custom had to be her size meeting the waffle and had to be roughly 3 1/2 feet across and she was very determined for her head to stake out of the waffle not out of the top of the waffle of no no that would be easy she wanted her face to stick out of the waffle like out of it like on the front of this waffle cost now my wife has what you would call a job now she’s freelancing but she’s freelancing steadily so she does this thing called work which means during the day she’s not home and when she does get home by the time she gets home and we make dinner and everything she’s exhausted and falls asleep and I don’t blame her because that’s what I do the end of the day when it was told and designed to induce his manner like 9 o’clock yelling at salute go to bed so by the time read there’s no waffle time except for when Dan is home during the week that is why there was no show last week or the week before whenever was I been making a waffle now before that I was getting ready for all of two lunar shooting and litigator special bank account there’s a special bank account that Dave is at it a special bank accounts you don’t rebuff your kids I do get that in the worker mineral that Internet was swiftly followed by the thing that was writing for that book that I think is good to be in that the book that Meyer may not indirectly claim that I am somewhat quarter quote famous for the insinuation that consumer whatever you know I’m not I was I was available and willing to participate and then the waffle waffle bowl Mike God the waffle the book that I said in September I was can write you know what that is that’s to lose Honda commercial and the thing for the book and a waffle that’s my book the book the book that I don’t know I don’t just talk about writing books to impress you I actually want to do it please leave me alone so we decided that the waffle was going to be made of foam ill foam rubber I been talking for 49 minutes so let’s read this up and 10 minutes however so cool so okay ideally we won beige foam but we can’t find beige from and from his expensive so we can find cheap foam we certainly can find big foam as we need big cheap beige foam as we don’t want to paint it’s what one would well limit restate that were going to paint it but we just want to paint on the burn marks from the waffle having being lawful globalized excuse and we don’t want to paint it yellow we wanted just painted the Brown partner at the yellow whole thing and then them okay Nell Hudson and I made an iPod about five years ago and it was awesome and I don’t remember where we bought the phone for that I cannot find the place I cannot find it in the Yellow Pages a Google search yelp search no search there’s no search anywhere there’s no phone call anywhere they can find a place that we went to buy the cheap yellow foam five years ago can’t do it so Melissa and I spend the better part of one Saturday calling every form place we can find in the Internet’s in the general Los Angeles area of course we can’t settle on the place that’s near the apartment we settle on the place that’s in Burbank so I and of driving to Burbank Ryan to buy foam now the guy in the foam assured us that the foam would be off-white and I get there and it’s not it’s very white it’s brilliant brilliant’s it your it looks like those Mr. clean things that you buy describe your stuffy nose Mr. clean white scrubby’s that that were originally designed to be insulation on the space shuttle I’m not joking I have on the highest authority they were designed actually as insulation for something like the space shuttle and now we scrub our kitchens with them but that’s what look like like that white like unnaturally white like Ryan Seacrest’s teeth white so I call my wife from aggression this stuff is not off-white it is so white and I don’t know what you know and I don’t know about about about about archive because I don’t want a beneficial we noted out so and buying the foam and are big idea is that working to use this stuff called liquid nails to glue it all together so the idea is this we need for piece of foam and were to cut them all into us big circular shape to make the waffle and the two outer pieces were his stack up give the two outer pieces will have holes cut in it to make the wobbly waffle part right the two insight pieces will not have holes and that’s what makes the other write the end that the Anoka of the cranny right that makes the bottom of the nook and cranny is not an English muffin or I mean like right UU condition discount and there’s holes on the out these four pieces okay this for basis and the outer pieces have the holes in them in abuses don’t and then in between all of them in the middle so you got to on the inside 20 outside the make sense know to what is my daughter by my daughters go to go in between such can have two little circles on the front Kareem’s waffles in two circles on the back rate of the other side of the waffle shape and then her head is among the sticker through by our house now the problem with these projects is I can’t I can hardly does a completely half ass job I’ll take a ride outcome part of me is so rushed and stressed and panic am sick of it in half asked him half-mast and the other part of me yet was to be a diva and do everything perfectly so I buy two cans of spray paint for the brown ion of going to Home Depot can you you got be a leader that it’s like the guy is that the leaf blower right into the garage no I am not willing to do it myself I understand so I buy brown eye by yellow the ideas in his paint the whole thing yellow I got to because it’s they said what they said the phone would turn yellow it with time once it was out of the plastic bag and it didn’t it was still pretty damn white so I got yellow spray paint and a brown spray paint nets can make the Connelly toasty toasty parts and I guess somehow glue it all together and then ago some how get my daughter in there and I got a Savonarola Laurel mine God and the guys at the phone’s for say no do you have an electric carving knife and I say you know when they say will that’s really the best thing to cut it with his electric carving knife gives enough yet to blaze legal back-and-forth and I say that while what I have to blaze the go back and forth my mother does Thanksgiving I’d is no reason for me to have two blades going back and forth like what we can get with my golf figured out so I got the whole thing out with and that you know scissors after a lot of measuring waffle waffle measuring all the next day all the Sunday waffle cutting circle cutting my daughter and I cutting and measuring and discussing and in strategic rising there’s a lot a strategically and I think the next day as it’s got a be done by Friday because is that right yeah because Friday is the quarter court harvest Festival at school Friday’s the harvest Festival Saturdays a party so I don’t have to will today to do this cost of no notice today’s whole-wheat I had to become a Friday so on Sunday not to than Monday I can fear how to glue it so Monday I realize there was that’s snow Monday ice scraping sort out no a normal person would run their crappy as close and’s find a special spot I guess where there’s no wind but I don’t have a special spot and I’m too stressed out to change my concern is literally in my normal street clothes I did buy rubber gloves I’m in my street clothes and rubber gloves in the backyard and might affect the lawn will grow out will just let eventually write the painted part will get cut I don’t care in a basically just turning the waffle and spring in whatever way the wind isn’t blowing because the link exchanging visit where I’m basically my backyard with the walls and the fences in the trees limiting its disaster it’s really, like spray painting in a tornado so I spray paint the yellow high spray-painted brown and then the next day I’m literally the heart is that the liquid nails that doesn’t work the only thing this can save you man is a hot glue hot glue so I’m hot gluing for how it feels like five hours a Possibly but literally for hours this stupid 3 1/2 foot diameter that the diameter is that the reading is thus the diameter 3/2 the diameter waffled badly 4 feet diameter waffle okay Mel I’m trying to listen the music and the night before I I know I got it in my has like a remember that out on that it was due nonstop ways to make out with a girl Chris something member that was only Bob welshes French kiss album remnants sent to demand the lady that have member that you’re too young thing God bless you for being too young to remember French kiss album it was the biggest alum when I was in grade when I was in first grade so for what reason the night before I listened that unspotted biocide why why was this guy and famous he only really mean this album does not hold up its terrible I only remember a couple songs even though most are just so busy making out with this girl that wasn’t even listening to side to really move just like make out because I was in the record is Manuel to flip it over so but I get in my head design just like you should go to bed but don’t you wonder how Bob Welch got famous and I looked at me Agassi been in Fleetwood Mac which I don’t like after French kiss or maybe even during that something was to make it with the same girl Fleetwood Mac had that been rumors album that was the big rumors on the nets all other people listen to the whole times in first grade so for some reason is that of going to bed I start searching on Wikipedia about Fleetwood Mac and again this is like a spite search because I don’t like Fleetwood Mac I don’t get it when I get it but I don’t enjoy it and then somehow I find out I realized from reading this thing or whatever the real Fleetwood Mac headlight 18 different incarnations before it was the like really apt up love quadrangle of like Stevie Nixon Lindsey Buckingham and Fleetwood in what’s or McVey year McPhee year to do whatever whatever before was that with all that like hippie deadbeat 80s 70s pop whatever the hell that was they were like this cool all guy blues band yeah so I’m hot gluing a waffle listening to old right not Lindsay Fleetwood Mac like old Fleetwood Mac blues like like as cool as the Black Keys Fleetwood Mac is a globalist is an old Fleetwood Mac man I’m telling you I’m not steering you wrong right if you like the black keys the original Black Keys was Fleetwood Mac now the new Black Keys is that Gary Clark Junior okay so the new Iraqis Gary Clark Junior they had invited but a lot of them don’t like the late 60s before the White stripes they didn’t invent a cake for the probably precept bright Fleetwood Mac sun listening to Fleetwood Mac and burning off my fingers and gluing painted waffle parts for hours and hours and hours and I finally get it all together to the point where I don’t think it go any further without him actually putting my daughter in it and I realize that looks like crap because you’d I didn’t use machine to cut out the circles I used a pair scissors and so each of these pairs of circles is completely different from each of the bears of circles the circle everything is that so it doesn’t look me in the front trust me in the front from a distance man it looks like a freaking waffle I could show you out you can’t put it in the show it looks like a waffle but when you put it all together it really looks like crap so I have about two hours before I got to pick up the kids and it is my life’s mission to find an electric carving knife now I live in Los Angeles major city I live near a big shopping mall literally I should measure it it’s probably a mile away not even and it’s downhill I barely had to start the car if I can get the car out of my neighborhood is a bold and and just like give it a little bit of whom I can coast down the bottom of the hill to the Westfield Mall now this Westfield mall has Best Buy target Macy’s and JCPenney on old maid is negative according at the unison the point all these other stores there’s got a be a carving knife down there right I even look on the website real quick target target target Scott Carvey

$14 or whatever awesome the problem is not that I want to buy a carving knife in Los Angeles the problem is not that I want to buy a carving knife at target or Best Buy or Macy’s the real problem is that I want to buy an electric carving knife in to thousand 12 because I think in 2012 with gone beyond the electric carving knife I haven’t seen electric carving knife since I moved out of my parents house the roof roughly 30 years ago I think what Americans do now to carve the turkey is they get a nonelectric knife pentane just run the nonelectric knife back and forth along the turkey see if you cook a turkey what you need electric right as I got the chainsaw for a kitchen what in the hell possessed us as Americans it was just the gadgetry was meant to need electric carving of just a kind of cooked piece of poultry so I’m really getting to strike as I’m really worried as my masterpiece looks like crap and I really want electric carving knife and I’m realizing very quickly that I used you to go to an incredibly expensive kitchen store and God only knows what the carving knife’s canopy or needed to have ordered it online three weeks ago because again you can’t just walk into a random store in the year 2012 and by the electric carving and then out of desperation I remember JCPenney’s is not in 2012 JC pennies is in 1974 so I go to JC Penny’s and I go over to the electric kitchen appliance area and I interrupt the woman who is putting up the Christmas displays and I say to the woman woman to have an electric carving knife and the woman says yes I do I made the most awesome waffle costume ever now the thing is I don’t recommend a waffle costume I’m just saying I made the most awesome want because a waffle costume especially denying it want to put the waffle costume on you cannot bend your arms or your legs and you are wearing about 10 pounds of foam rubber and it’s going to be 85° at your school harvest Festival body and know that well because it’s 85° at your school harvest festival every year well every year at the harvest Festival I say to everyone boycott every year will its hot every year after that to every year the harvest estimate row I was a boy in the next year I’m going to wear white member next year I’m going to dress like somebody from Lawrence of Arabia member that memo that and then the next year comes along and everybody wants to be a waffle my daughter wore the costume for the minimum amount of time possible she put it on she went downstairs she marched in a parade they said you’re done and she took it off and I put it up in her upstairs air-conditioned classroom and it doesn’t matter because she loves the custom and she was so happy and so grateful and so excited to be that big stupid awful and yeah I I haven’t been writing I haven’t barely been keeping up with the laundry I’ve missed a week or two of this show as it was crumbling around me but I will never and she will never ever ever ever ever forget the waffle Fridays are listening to the bitterest pill this is been number 1302 if you’re keeping track and gosh knows I must be welcome back of your back listen to all you premium subscribers ha ha so I don’t really know what’s happening I think I need to go through extra canceling and refunding the last set of payments I’m good to get on that as soon as I can I’m still kind of waiting to sort a few things out with the company that handled the premium stuff so for the time being until further notice the pill is free I don’t know what’s happening I’m going to you try to put out a new show everyone is well and then put out that the old shows everyone smile in this same feed but dumb but it will say but everything’s for listening to all please tell a friend to try out the show it is what you write a Lets out okay but listen to have a happy Halloween if I don’t speak with you any summer on the fourth you know feel free to drop me a line and wish me happy anniversary it been eight years eight years since November 2004 hole lead the holy while anyway thanks a lot I was not touches in this is Dan saying thank you